Get Pickled!!!

So I've been sick, so we haven't been posting. Well, we kind of posted, and we posted a lot just now, but see, Rabbit won't update on her own without being prodded with a sharp stick, and I was freaking sick.
So, as is the age old family tradition, when sick, drink. So, I got pickled. Which lead me to think about preparation. You know, you have to prepare to drink, think about the hang over, etc...

BUT I also prepare by taking pictures of the silly things I'm doing, even if I am not going to post that way. BAM prepare biiiaaattccch.

And since I've been drinking, I'm going to post other things that were pickled!!!

So this is normally where I tell you what we need. Here's the deal, I cheater-pickle. I don't do the whole special salt, special vinegar, boiling pot and mason jars.
Nope, homie does easy things.

I try to keep most all of this in the house anyway. And you should to. If you don't... You probably live in like, Cambodia.

• Apple Cider Vinegar - It's cheap, liiike your mom.
• Kosher Salt - I never know when Dov is going to show up
• Water - ....
• Sugar - Noooooommmmm

The basic recipe is easy: 

• 1/2 cup Vinegar
• 1 cup water
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1-2 teaspoons salt

This is all adjustable depending how strong, salty, sugary, etc. you want things. I adjusted and danced as I went. I also use recycled containers. Why? I'm cheap. Err I mean, green and like to recycle!!

In the picture above you have (from top to bottom):
Garlic

Shallots

Red Onions

Green Onions

These were things that I had in the fridge, waiting not to die. So, they went in.

I made the Red onion 100% to the recipe.

The shallots got a little more sugar.
Green onions a hint more salt.
The garlic? Watered down. 

It's just to taste.
But here's the deal. I fucking LOVE pickled onions.

They are SO pretty when done, and give everything this magic taste. Everything else was awesome as well.

Dried To-ma-toes are great too. And JUST AS freaking easy.

You need:

• As many tomatoes as you want 
• Salt
• An oven that can set lowwwwwwww

First I'm going to brag: If you can find tomatoes on the vine? Get them. I didn't goto some farmers market (I love them, don't let my sass fool you).. My local Grocer - Basha's, carries them. Fresh and local and awesome.

The hardest part here is your knife skills. You want to slice these as evenly as possible. Sharp knife, steady hand, and a few minutes of time. 

Lay them out on something non-stick and oven safe. Lightly salt to taste. Toss it in the oven at your low temp and let bake until they are like leather. 

I messed up! I got distracted! I cooked mine until they were chips. Know what? They were still incredible. 

Oh and want to see what bad knife skeelz and large clumsy hands do?

MOOSH

Chicken n Cake!

So a friend sent me a link, that I promptly lost, to a very simple chicken meal. How simple? So simple that Rabbit could have done it. BAM!

Whatcha Need

• Chicken breast - I used just over a pound for two nice boobies.
• Half a package of bacon
• Jar o Pesto
• Melty Cheese

Whatcha Whatcha Gonna do Gonna do

• Lay out 3 or 4 strips of bacon
• Split a rather anatomically naughty looking V into the chicken breasts. You can probably do 2 or three per.
• Put that breast on bacon

• Fill those V Bags with Pesto
• Add some cheese

• Wrap the bacon around it. I like to kind of braid my bacon.
• Maybe put more cheese on top.
• Bake at 400 for like 25- 30 minutes. 
• I use a lot of silicone sheets, so mine was at 350 for almost 40 minutes.
• Next time I'm not going to use silicone so I can bake at 400, and then at the very end broil for a few minutes to get things crispy.

We served it with noodles and left over cheesy sauce from a previous post. 

CAKE!!
Rabbit made cake. Rabbit writes about cake. Aaaand GO

Dark Chocolate Orange cake is no lie

After the heavenly lightness of the last cake (pineapple cherry chip), I decided to do something completely opposite: dark, rich and decadent. The obvious answer involved chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. I did have one glaring problem, though... no chocolate cake mix. Yes, I know, I could do the 'hard' thing and make it from scratch but I'm lazy and I *did* have white cake mix. So how do you make white cake mix into chocolate (even, dare I say dark chocolate)? Duh, cocoa powder. And I DID have a metric crap-ton of cocoa powder, so my problem, it turned out, was not so much a problem as an opportunity to adjust the amount of delicious chocolate I could put into my cake. I was the master of my own cake-y destiny! 

So! It's time to gather your ingredients and implements, kids. Remember, this is a chocolate orange cake, so you may have to do some shopping.

Ingredients:
1 box white cake mix
3 eggy-wegs
2 sticks of butter (instead of the oil called for in the recipe on the box)
2/3 c of cocoa powder
2-3 oranges (I prefer Valencia oranges, as they tend to be juicier. You can do blood oranges, navel oranges, whatever floats your boat. You're going to want AT LEAST 1 cup of juice)

Implements:
A baking pan (or pans)
An oven
Measuring cups
Mixing bowl
Non-stick spray
Whisk/spoon

1. Take butter out of refrigerator to get it to room temp
2. Pre-heat oven to 350F
3. Grease pan(s)

PREPARE TO GET JUICY!

4. Juice your oranges into a bowl/cup/whatever you're going to use to contain it. *make sure you keep the seeds out. Some pulp is no biggie, so long as you don't mind biting into it later once it's in the cake. If you're not into that at all, you can use paper towel/strainer/cheesecloth to strain out the pulpy bits. Set the juice aside for later

5.  Pour cake mix into large mixing bowl
6.  Add in cocoa powder and mix until combined well
7.  Slice up butter sticks so they are easier to work with and add to the mix
8. Add eggs into mix
9. Stir CAREFULLY - it will be lumpy, that's ok. We're gonna help it out in a second.
10. Add in 1 C of orange juice (this is in place of 1 C of water from the cake box recipe) and mix. If it feels a little bit thick, you can add more juice to loosen it up a bit. It will still be a thick batter - maybe the texture of brownies
11. Bake @ 350 for 20-25 minutes - until not-gunky in the center

Just like with the last cake, we can make icing quick and easy. This time, instead of letting it just be icing, we're going to put in some orange juice so that we get another lovely kick of citrus. For the icing,  you'll need:

At Least 3 Tbls. Milk
3 Cups Powered Sugar
1/2 cup (like Butter
3-8 Tbs of the orange juice

And all you really need to do to all this lovely stuff is mix it together. Add more/less orange juice to taste. If you feel like it's too sweet, put juice in. If it's too juicy or orange-y, put more sugar in. Tada!

Also, I know I didn't mention this last time but.. it's a good idea to let your cake cool off before you frost it. At least 20 minutes. I know it's PAINFUL to wait sometimes, but it's a better idea to ice it when it's cool because the icing won't run into any cracks and/or run straight off the cake.